A careful reading of official Major League Baseball Rule 6.08(b) suggests that in this situation, the batter would be considered "hit by pitch", and would be eligible to advance to first base.

Awesome.

That is just more evidence that nerds make baseball better.

-We no longer need All Star Games in sports. They're useless today. A break in the middle of the season is fine--it's a long season--and a celebration of the entertainment value of a sport is always fun, but the way we're doing things just isn't working anymore. Baseball's All Star Game is a farce, a "meaningful game" that was never intended to have any meaning, introduced by a home run contest that seems almost designed to remind everybody of the time when most of baseball was on steroids.

We don't need All Star Games because we have international competition in most sports. Basketball's real All Star matchup comes at the end of this month when the Olympics start. Hockey has the Winter Olympic tournament, which in 2010 was far more entertaining than any All Star competition has ever been. Pitch football has all manner of international competition, from the World Cup to the continental championships to the Olympic tournament. And yes, baseball has the World Baseball Classic, on which both I as a fan and Commissioner Selig as baseball's keeper refuse to give up. (One of these days, it's going to work.)

So what to do with the break in the middle of the season? A few ideas...

-Minor League Baseball goes Major. While the All Star Break is going on, every league but AAA should shut down. Teams can move all of their high-ranking prospects to AAA for that week, which is going to be important as those teams will take over the spotlight by playing in Major League ballparks to national audiences. Baseball fans will watch because fans of teams are usually pretty familiar with the names of the up-and-coming farmhands, and everyone wants a chance to see them up against other future stars.

-The All STAR Game. What if every sport kept their All Star competition, but instead of players from their sport, it was players from other professional leagues playing their sport? A bunch of quarterbacks were also pitchers in college, let's see what they've got. Since it's baseball, it's possible to invite people from all the other major sports leagues (including European pitch football) to come and compete. Hell, you could make several teams and do it on multiple nights. At first this sounds a little weird, but when you think about it it could be a lot of fun.

-The All Time Game. Players who have been retired for twenty years or fewer are eligible to compete in this one. A local hero has to be one of the team captains. (Oh, did I mention that teams are picked schoolyard style in this one? One hometown hero, one player who is getting inducted into the Hall of Fame this year, every eligible player who shows up to pick from.)

-"Hey, Cid, that's all just baseball nerdery up there. Who's going to watch that? We want a fight. A bench-clearing brawl." Okay. Got it. How about a few boxing matches in a baseball stadium? Not active players, of course, but is there any harm to putting Pedro Martinez in a boxing ring with Jorge Posada and letting those two go at it?

-Move up Madden day a few weeks. This seems like the easiest possible solution. No baseball for four days? It's cool, new Madden's out to fill that gap. Problem solved. Next.

I don't know about the old timers, Cid. Have you thought about pitching? Guys who retired 20 years ago are NOT going to be able to put the same kind of speed on the ball, at least not without immediately injuring themselves. But while I'm sure the batters would probably be half a step slow as well, they can still come to bear on slow pitches and cause a fairly imbalanced game as a result. Then again, it'll probably be more fun to watch, considering defense is generally more physically demanding than offense, which means hopefully more hits, more base running, and higher scores.

Deacon wrote:Have you thought about pitching?

The twenty year stipulation is there for a few reasons: to ensure that everyone has a hometown guy that can captain the team if they're hosting that year (the Royals would have had to go back to Bo Jackson), because a few older ex-players are still conditioned well enough that they could play (Nolan Ryan would probably want to pitch an inning, age be damned), and so a few megastars could get one at bat a year even when they're too old to swing right, the way Arnold Palmer still gets to tee off at the Masters every year. As an added bonus, you'd get the majority of newly-enshrined Hall of Fame players, who would get to be the stars of the day. Maybe there shouldn't even be an age limit.

The other thing is that it's an All Star Game, and there's an enormous pool of players to use in this situation. There's no reason you'd have to limit rosters to 25, and everyone can pitch an inning or two.

This year, you could have trotted out Pedro Martinez to pitch for the AL in the first inning or two--he was going into the seventh inning of World Series games as recently as 2009--against Greg Maddux for the NL, who was a playoff starter just a few years ago.

Deacon wrote:Then again, it'll probably be more fun to watch

-"Now pitching, for the American League, number twenty-two: Roger Clemens."
-The captains picking the teams from a pool of players. A) There will be more available players than available spots, meaning some people are going to be left as spectators. Which is gripping television for the reality TV crowd. B) Lots of these guys are going to have active jobs, either as MLB coaches and managers or as members of the press, so the potential for bad blood is there. Which is fun. C) Will the captains pick any of the steroid-"tainted" guys? McGwire's a hitting coach for the Cardinals now, so he still swings a bat every day, but would he get passed over for his PED issue?

The Cid wrote:would he get passed over for his PED issue?

Careful with that abbreviation...

Performance-Enhancing Drugs. It's baseball's go-to phrase for banned substances. "Steroids" doesn't include HGH or amphetamines, and colloquialisms like "juicing" are too flippant.

Some more thoughts:
-When you hear the stat "WAR," it might be hard to envision what a replacement-level player looks like. What is the straw man to which MLB is comparing all players? Well, that's when you solve for R, by finding people who have a Wins Above Replacement number of 0.0. Robert Andino of the Baltimore Orioles is hovering around 0.0, so think of it as "Wins Above Robert Andino."

-As much as I don't want to admit it, Bobby Valentine is not doing that terrible of a job as the Red Sox' manager. He's made some dumb moves (throwing Youkilis under the bus was stupid, and in general he seems hesitant to defend any of his players), but considering the turmoil around the team and all the major injuries they've had, things could have easily gone a lot worse. My major problem with him though is how much he reminds me of Jon Gruden when Gruden was the coach of my favorite football team. Too cutesy with the press. Not close enough with the players. Seems to want everything overhauled. Opposite of the incredible coach that preceded him.

Okay. Long-winded Red Sox rant coming. I'm spoilering this one in case you're sick of me going on about my favorite team.

Spoiler: (click to reveal/hide)

-If you're a fan of a specific franchise, chances are there are certain versions of that team that you really love and some that are a little more unsettling. The Red Sox of the past ten years--ever since the new ownership group took control--have been truly special to follow. I've watched a ton of sports, but I've never seen anything remotely like this particular team in this particular situation. The big personality players, the transformation of Fenway Park, the unbelievable run in '04, the whole part about ghosts and grandfathers and eighty six years of random losses at terrible moments...and then to see that grow into the 2007 team that led the league from start to finish. To see the day that there was such a thing as a Red Sox bandwagon--people actually making a conscious decision to support this usually doomed team--it's been said better than this a million times over, but we're lightyears away from where things used to be. And the idea that, after this year, that could all be over? The idea that David Ortiz might end up in pinstripes next season; that the 2004 team will be completely gone from the payroll? That just sucks. So that's where all the Red Sox people are coming from when they talk about fans panicking. We really don't want to let go of that team.

-I want to believe the Pirates will stick around, and that they'll do the right things to keep competitive from now on, but I can't. Not when they have ownership that very publicly pockets the money the team receives in luxury tax from the big money teams and calls it profit, like they did something to earn it. I've long felt that Pirates ownership hates the city of Pittsburgh and has treated them exceedingly poorly. I sincerely hope I'm wrong.

The Cid wrote:Performance-Enhancing Drugs.

PEDophile.

I don't...wh...what the Hell man? Why troll the baseball thread?

You used "PED" which is the first syllable of pedophile, I thought it was funny, and I suggested to be careful using it. You apparently didn't know where I was coming from, so I clarified. Don't call me a troll.

That's why I tried to come across confused. Did you really think I didn't get the "joke" right away? I got it, I just think it's very stupid. And it's not even remotely new phrasing, either--that abbreviation has been used for a good ten years now--so I figured people were used to it. It's way easier than saying "steroids, greenies, and HGH." It's also like the single worst place to go with any topic. I don't know. I guess I just don't get that kind of humor, and given the punchline and how far removed it is from the discussion I was responding to it looked like trolling to me.

While you're here, I get that you're not that into baseball, but you have noticed that the Rangers are currently the best team in the league, correct? Because it would be a bit of a shame if people didn't notice that. Attendance is up, but like...there's a buzz down there, right? You all know what you have down there, don't you?

The Cid wrote:That's why I tried to come across confused. Did you really think I didn't get the "joke" right away? I got it, I just think it's very stupid. And it's not even remotely new phrasing, either--that abbreviation has been used for a good ten years now--so I figured people were used to it.

It was new to me. The phrase "performance enhancing drugs" isn't new, but it's not exactly clear, either, especially when marijuana and such is included under that umbrella. You could just say "steroids" and it's generally understood what's included. Nobody really thinks you're including shots given to combat allergies or back pain or whatever.

I'm surprised you were so offended in the first place, much less that you'd consciously engage in some sort of subtle charade regarding understanding what I meant.

I guess I just don't get that kind of humor

Clearly, though it wasn't really "humor" as in "haha look at this hilarious joke I just made" so much as it was "gratuitous use of acronyms sometimes causes confusion, which in this case is mildly amusing."

I get that you're not that into baseball, but you have noticed that the Rangers are currently the best team in the league, correct? Because it would be a bit of a shame if people didn't notice that.

Consider me shamed. I had no idea, but I did support the local minor league team last night by attending the Dollar Beer Night game. It was actually pretty good. Midland took a commanding lead, but Cody Decker hit a grand slam in the 7th to tie it up...before Midland went on a 4-run tear in response. Lots of scoring, but in the end we needed 6 to win and only came up with 2.

Deacon wrote:Consider me shamed. I had no idea

This kind of bums me out. Not really, because it's not exactly a travesty, but damn, dude, you're missing out.

Let me try and be brief. I've gone on about the Rangers before. You probably know by now that I think Nolan Ryan is doing an amazing job of running his team. Their philosophy on the game is what makes them great, and it also makes them rather entertaining as baseball teams go. Adrian Beltre in particular is fun to watch, because he is prone to going down to his knees to hit home runs on occasion. They're a big market team (meaning they are capable of signing big name players) that revolves around youth and taking chances with players. It's a good strategy. And right now they're the best team in baseball.

Great teams don't come around often. You don't have to catch every game, but trust me if you follow the Rangers you won't be disappointed.

And Minor League Baseball is always worth supporting.

I'm in San Antonio and have cut the cable, relying on internet streaming (Netflix, Hulu Plus, etc) and OTA broadcasts with no DVR. I have SiriusXM in my truck, but I'm not going to go sit out there to listen even if I do get the play-by-play.

Then try and catch a Fox broadcast one of these Saturdays--coverage is regional enough that I'd imagine they probably do show Rangers games from time to time. I know I'm going to sound like a parent getting a kid to eat their vegetables, but people in Minnesota and Kansas City would absolutely appreciate having the best team in baseball through half of the season and coming off of two straight AL pennants.

They're doing well in attendance, at least, but it's just screwed up to me that the best team in baseball has like no hype attached to it at all. What else do they need to do?

Then do what I do: purchase a MLB radio subscription. $16 for the iPhone app.