You should move up to the Pacific Northwest. Maybe 50's - 60's today, maybe 70's - 80's by Thursday. I could get used to a summer where you don't really even have to sweat unless you're actively moving.
It's not just Texas. Basically the the high plains area (basically just east of the Rockies) are going to see some high heat in the next few days. North Platte, NE has already had three straight days of 100° heat already. Other than the Pacific Northwest, Montana and most of Minnesota, expect highs in the 90's. And now, your weather on the eights!
True, it's not just Texas. But we do get the brunt. Some areas get a few days, but here it's a way of life. but that said, we know it's coming. Can't complain too much, ya know? When I first saw this comic, though, I thought, "Hey, the Deans moved back to Texas?"
My sig would have contained the secret of life, but I'd already clicked submit.