Anyway, I'm another new guy. This is my requisite first post. Bite away. And if anyone has a flask, I'm still looking for that drink.
I suppose I should at least attempt to make some valuable contribution:
------------------ Pun Ahead. You have been warned ------------------
Several years ago, Andy was sentenced to prison. During his stay, he got along well with the guards and all his fellow inmates. The warden saw that deep down, Andy was a good person and made arrangements for Andy to learn a trade while doing his time. After 3 years, Andy was recognized as one of the best carpenters in the local area. Often he would be given a weekend pass to do odd jobs for the citizens of the community and he always reported back to prison before Sunday night was over.
The warden was thinking of remodeling his kitchen and in fact had done much of the work himself. But he lacked the skills to build a set of kitchen cupboards and a large counter top which he had promised his wife. So he called Andy into his office and asked him to complete the job for him. But, alas, Andy refused. He told the warden,
wait for it....
Gosh, I'd really like to help you but counter-fitting is what got me into prison in the first place.