Internet Relationships...

Bigity · Post by **Bigity** » Tue Apr 06, 2004 4:13 pm

I don't think you can decide if someone is your soul-mate or anything like that just by talking online. There are just too many unknowns in such a situation.

I have meet many people online, and while I enjoy playing games with them or occasionally meeting for some event (con, amusement park, whatever), I don't think I could have gone from instant messaging to living with them or something. You really don't know a person unless you are around them.

I do have friends I have never meet except online, though. But a deeper relationship? I dunno. Not in my opinion.

Post by **Blaze** » Tue Apr 06, 2004 6:09 pm

I would tend to agree, after all the experience I've had. It's easy to get romantic online. It really is, mostly because it's much easier to say suave, romantic things when you aren't confronted with the person straight across the table from you, and it can make you feel like a better person than you thought you were.

But getting romantic doesn't make for being TOGETHER. You can be romantic, with every intention of being together. It's close, but not quite.

And yeah... sometimes the fact that you might end up getting "mentally physical", if that's possible can have a weird effect on your actual meeting, as you are TRUTHFULLY just meeting that person for the first time, and you'll be a little wary of actually being physical at all. It feels like a big step back.

Seir · Post by **Seir** » Tue Apr 06, 2004 6:32 pm

I agree with what MC had to say. There's more to a relationship than saying things to one another. I mean, sure you can tell your online "significant other" that some bad things happened to you, but it'll never beat having a shoulder to cry on, literally.

Kyros · Post by **Kyros** » Tue Apr 06, 2004 7:32 pm

[quote="Shyknight";p="315122"]Internet relationships are just friendships with the intent to possibly date in real life sometime. You can't really be 'together' over the Internet, and you won't really know if you like them or not until you meet them in person.[/quote]

Exactly what I was going to say, you cant really be in a "relationship" with someone if youve only ever talked to them online. Seeing the person and actually talking to them face to face is dramatically different than just someo nline conversation.

Id imagine the internet is a good place to meet people tho..

Daemonfly · Post by **Daemonfly** » Wed Apr 07, 2004 8:19 am

I went with "Not until you have met them", but in most cases i've personally seen, it's been a straight-up "No". Not even if you just visited them once or twice or call them on the phone ehre & there.

It's good for starters, or for trying to keep it together if you end up separated by distance, but thats about it, imho.

MaverickLlama · Post by **MaverickLlama** » Wed Apr 07, 2004 5:35 pm

[quote="EvilElf";p="315006"]
Distance from eachother making it hard to snuggle.

also not being able to really hug or kiss them.

not being able to take them out somewhere nice or even sit at home with them and watch movies together.[/quote]

damn you, whoever put washington state so far away from new jersey...

krystine · Post by **krystine** » Wed Apr 07, 2004 7:30 pm

For a long time, I mean a long time (four years) I've been doing nothing much but staying online and keeping my life based upon the online life. Some of the best friendships I found were online, we sent each other gifts snail mail (mostly artwork and such). If you were to maintain a friendship online, it would take a while, but its been known to happen, and sometimes, amazingly, it won't turn out that your being stalked by a fifty year old fat person. But don't try to keep your hopes up.

Intimate relationships online are harder, there will be nothing replacing that special feeling of being looked at special, hugged, ect. But whatever floats your boat I guess.

Dancing Fire Monkey · Post by **Dancing Fire Monkey** » Mon Apr 12, 2004 8:12 pm

I don't think an online romance is a "Real" romance, but that's just my own misguided opinion.

zoderian · Post by **zoderian** » Tue Apr 13, 2004 8:40 am

No.. But then i'mnot into this whole relationship-thing anyway, but if it should be a relationship it has to be someone you start dating RL not chatting with on the net.

Shyknight · Post by **Shyknight** » Wed Apr 21, 2004 5:58 am

I want to change my vote... because i LOVE this girl. She sends me letters almost every day, and we talk almost every day. Sometimes on IM, sometimes on the phone. We've 'known' each other since we were 14. I just can't get over how great she is. I love talking to her. She understands me, and I understand her. We are just waiting for the chance to meet. I really think we have a chance to live happily ever after.

And i DARE anyone to dismiss that dream as something that probably won't happen.

Azurain · Post by **Azurain** » Wed Apr 21, 2004 6:11 am

If it's as good as you say, it'll probably happen, only it'll take about two years for one of you to finally stop procrastinating and actually move over to where the other one lives...

At least, that's the experience a friend of mine is having : )

Princess_Lorien · Post by **Princess_Lorien** » Thu Apr 22, 2004 5:57 am

You dont truly know someone till you have lived with them.

Instant messaging hides the dirty dishes and the overflowing ashtrays. It also hides the bad sleeping patterns, the unemployment and the dreaded mother in law.

You dont know someone till you go out in public with them, till you see them outside their natural habitat.

Internet relationships are not 'real' relationships.

Phong · Post by **Phong** » Thu Apr 22, 2004 6:13 am

[quote="Princess_Lorien";p="323946"]You dont truly know someone till you have lived with them.

Instant messaging hides the dirty dishes and the overflowing ashtrays. It also hides the bad sleeping patterns, the unemployment and the dreaded mother in law.

You dont know someone till you go out in public with them, till you see them outside their natural habitat.

Internet relationships are not 'real' relationships.[/quote]

I do believe you have struck the nail squarely. The simple fact is that 'Talk is cheap' to use a cliché, and on the internet, it is doubly so. This isn't to say that people are intentionally trying to deceive, but conversation on the internet is much different the speaking in person. You don't see a persons mannerism, actions, everyone has a long time to respond to things said so they don't sound like a stuttering fool, all you know is what the person tells you, and no one has a desire to represent themselves badly.

Princess_Lorien · Post by **Princess_Lorien** » Thu Apr 22, 2004 6:41 am

[quote="Phong";p="323953"][quote="Princess_Lorien";p="323946"]You dont truly know someone till you have lived with them.

Instant messaging hides the dirty dishes and the overflowing ashtrays. It also hides the bad sleeping patterns, the unemployment and the dreaded mother in law.

You dont know someone till you go out in public with them, till you see them outside their natural habitat.

Internet relationships are not 'real' relationships.[/quote]

I do believe you have struck the nail squarely. The simple fact is that 'Talk is cheap' to use a cliché, and on the internet, it is doubly so. This isn't to say that people are intentionally trying to deceive, but conversation on the internet is much different the speaking in person. You don't see a persons mannerism, actions, everyone has a long time to respond to things said so they don't sound like a stuttering fool, all you know is what the person tells you, and no one has a desire to represent themselves badly.[/quote]

With the internet, you can hide a lisp a limp.. andything that kills your confidence. Over the net, you are anyone you can portray. Seriosuly, no matter ho much you talk to someone over the net.

You dont know them.

Shyknight · Post by **Shyknight** » Thu Apr 22, 2004 3:22 pm

I know you can hide a lot about yourself on the internet. I just don't think everyone does.

But whatever. Read your own sig.

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