Mensajitos

[collegestudent22]

And through a rather ridiculous way of doing it.

[ampersand]

Dear Dad,

Thanks for calling. Yes, I understand the other two don't respond to your calls and I can tell there's an air of desperation in your voice knowing you may have lost me forever (and yes, you have). I know you asked me if I'm enjoying myself here in Portland...but I felt you were wanting to ask me if I missed anything from "home." I could tell you were wanting just a mere hope that someone would come back.

Dad, you're like the pool stick and I was the cue ball, and with one swift poke, I broke up the entire family. How the hell do you think I feel?

Let me tell you what I don't miss. I don't miss the hot weather, the cold weather, and the chill atmosphere anytime a family get-together emerges. I don't miss the behind-the-back murmurs from other family members wondering if I'll ever amount to anything. I don't miss being told what others really think of me from either you or Mom.

I don't miss having to sneak out to go where I want to go because gas prices would have made it difficult for Mom to think she would have to pay for my gas fare. I don't miss Mom wondering what a single guy like me would need a Costco card for. I don't miss being back-stabbed by my sister or my brother-in-law, and all three of us wishing we could be where my Brother was: well off and far away from the rest of the family.

Oddly enough I don't miss either having a television to watch (though I now have one) and not having to share a moderate paced internet connection with anyone else either. I do miss some of the local companies that make certain products, and frankly the local Monastery here isn't quite as good as the one at home.

But I'm at a better place, making something scratch with a Fortune 1000 company and I have the luxury of either going to the Ocean or going to the Mountains. If I need to watch something, there's bar next door where I can get something to eat and watch a game. Hey, maybe I can even sell them my television, and then use the money gained for something else.

I'm happier, at least more mentally fit, and I'm getting physically fit as well. I hope I'll live for a good long portion of my life. Maybe at some point, I'll move to a seaside town and start a business. But that's for me to decide and you to never find out.

Good bye. I hope you'll enjoy picking up the rubble that was your family and your life.

[Rorschach]

Dear amp,

Respect.

Love,
Rorschach

[Deacon]

Dearest Steve Young, would-be journalists, and athuhletes everywhere: the word is resilience. There's no Y at the end.

[Rorschach]

Dear Glen Michael,

After the Jimmy Saville hoo-hah, I hope you've kept your nose clean.

Yours,
Birdman fan.

[ampersand]

Dear Lake Oswego Police:

Thanks for telling me I got to get a Oregon Driver's License now. I get it. But did you have to be a dick about it?

Yours,

Ampersand, who also didn't like it that he didn't know where the nearest DMV was.

[Arres]

Dear Ampersand,
Quick note. Nearly all states require you to get your license changed within 30-60 days of changing residence ( even in state). People who deal with Licenses think this is common knowledge for all people and have little patience with those of us who are completely unaware due to a family history of living where you were spawned. Sorry.

[ampersand]

I thought I read at the Oregon.gov website that I would have to prove I lived here for 6 months before I could be approved for a license. Complicating matters: Oregon's so broke the DMVs takes days off about every month.

[ampersand]

Dear sports bar,

You're a Sports bar. Don't show any debate coverage. Most of us either have made our minds up or don't care.

Yours,

Ampersand, who wonders if voting matters less in European countries.

[The Cid]

To the US Northeast:

You have seen this hurricane coming for several days now. Everybody has had time to go to the grocery store (read: make a panicked run on the grocery store as though they live a hundred miles from the nearest one), prepare their homes, and get to higher ground if necessary. So calm the Hell down. Seriously. Winter storms might not have these sort of winds (though I've definitely been through ones that do), but they also come with snow and ice that weighs down trees and makes them more likely to fall. So it's not a given that everybody is going to lose power, and even if they do it won't be like that show I don't watch that has Gus Fring from Breaking Bad in it.

If this were coastal Florida, people wouldn't even be worried about the local Hooters falling over. Calm down. By Wednesday when most things are just fine, the storm will have passed and we can all go home if we're not already there.

[Rorschach]

Dear Mum,

Chicken soup, while undoubtedly beneficial in some minor medical ways does not, in and of itself, cure cancer.
No matter how much you make of it.


Dear Postman,

While I appreciate your cheery 'Morning, Gianni' or 'Three letters today, Nicola' style patter, it makes me feel hugely uncomfortable that I can't respond as I don't know your name and the moment has passed to ask it. Can't you wear a badge or something?

Dear Mick Hucknall fans in the UK,

Really? There are enough of you to sell-out a concert next April already? Is everyone just buying tickets as Christmas presents for their parents?

[Arres]

Rorsch, now's your chance to get some benefit out of the vicious disease ravaging your body! Say something and behave as though you're GOING to use his name: "Pretty good, how's it going for you....uh....MAN! This darn chemo is MESSING with my head! I can't BELIEVE I can't remember your name! This is so embarrassing"

[Rorschach]

Dear Dad,

Thanks for, while discussing my birth date, pointing out that your birthday is almost exactly nine months before.mine. There's a mental image I could have done without.

[Deacon]

Sweaty, panting birthday sex to hilt-deep completion isn't how you want to think of your parents?

[JermCool]

Dear Dad,

Thanks for, while discussing my birth date, pointing out that your birthday is almost exactly nine months before.mine. There's a mental image I could have done without.

If you don't want that mental image, can I have it?