A Valentine's Story

Imperator Severn · Post by **Imperator Severn** » Sat Feb 15, 2003 4:22 am

Strange as it may sound, in 1642 the Pilgrim colony at Plymouth, Massachussetts, was struck by a crime wave. William Bradford, governor of the colony, described his history one of the worst crimes:
"Ther was a Youth whose Name was Thomas Granger; he was a Servant to an honest Man of Duxbery, being aboute 16 or 17. years of age. (His Father & Mother lived at the same Time at Sityate.) He was this Year detected of Buggery (and indicted for the same) with a Mare, a Cowe, tow Goats, five Sheep, 2. Calves and a Turkey. Horrible it is to mention, but the Truth of the Historie requires it. He was first discovered by one that accidentally saw his lewd Practise towards the Mare. (I forbear Perticulers.) Being upon it examined and committed, in the end he not only confest that Beast at that Time, but sundrie Times before, and at severall Times with all the Rest forenamed in his Iindictmente . . . . And accordingly he was cast by the Jury, and condemned, and after executed the 8. of September, 1642. A very sade Spectakle it was; for first the Mare, then the Cowe, then the Rest of the lesser Catle, were kild before his Face, according to the Law, Levit: 20:15, and then he him Selfe was executed."

Soul_Harvester · Post by **Soul_Harvester** » Sat Feb 15, 2003 4:24 am

Heart-warming...

Metzgirl · Post by **Metzgirl** » Sat Feb 15, 2003 4:25 am

Ok... that's just scary....

The fact that it was recorded is kind of amusing, though...

Imperator Severn · Post by **Imperator Severn** » Sat Feb 15, 2003 4:26 am

Ok... that's just scary....

My job is to comfort the disturbed and to disturb the comfortable.

Mav · Post by **Mav** » Sat Feb 15, 2003 8:58 am

Man, thats pretty sick that they'd kill someone for fucking a animal... I mean what if I was alive back then?!

err... I mean...

I DON'T FUCK CHICKENS!

/me runs away

Wite_Rabit · Post by **Wite_Rabit** » Sat Feb 15, 2003 7:06 pm

/me trips mav

see, now we must kill the chickens in front of you and kill you afterwards.

JonnWood · Post by **JonnWood** » Mon Feb 24, 2003 4:47 am

And what does Garr have to say?

RadicalDreamer · Post by **RadicalDreamer** » Mon Feb 24, 2003 4:57 am

Where the hell did you get that story???

Fixer · Post by **Fixer** » Mon Feb 24, 2003 3:49 pm

The man who recorded that kind of writes like Eihger. Mispellings, inappropriate capitlization, difficult grammar.... Anyone else notice that?

And I wonder why they killed the livestock. Not like they had any desireable part in it. Although I suppose no one would want to eat that particular beast either. Perhaps I have answered my own question.

gravity · Post by **gravity** » Mon Feb 24, 2003 4:43 pm

Dude, he was a true lonely gamer man before his time.

Had he been born in this day and age, I predict he would have lived in Arkanas.

In Arkansas it is legal to have intimate relations with any animal under 20 pounds. Kinda disturbing, is it not?

Fixer · Post by **Fixer** » Mon Feb 24, 2003 4:54 pm

True, but I doubt the Mare, Cowe, goats, calves or sheep were under 20 pounds. He'd still be breaking the law. Maybe the turkey would have been legal, but it would have been a really small turkey.

gravity · Post by **gravity** » Mon Feb 24, 2003 4:55 pm

And the chickens! Musn't forget the chickens!

Fixer · Post by **Fixer** » Mon Feb 24, 2003 5:00 pm

According to the incident report, he didn't go after the chickens. That was Mav.

Minako-chan · Post by **Minako-chan** » Mon Feb 24, 2003 6:44 pm

*shivers* ok, that's just...*shivers again*

zeerow · Post by **zeerow** » Mon Feb 24, 2003 6:47 pm

Thats really great.

The grammar made my head hurt.

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