Piercings and other bodily manipulations conversation

[HTRN]

What do you call a lesbian with a short tongue?

a Eunich!


HTRN

[Rfairney]

I believe the word you are looking for would be Eunuch

*castrates HTRN for getting it wrong

[HTRN]

*HTRN punchs Rfairney in the mouth for not laughing at his funny joke*


HTRN

[Rfairney]

[quote="HTRN";p="507478"]*HTRN punchs Rfairney in the mouth for not laughing at his funny joke*


HTRN[/quote]
Tell me a funny joke and I might actually laugh.


(note : when did / me get fixed in quotes ?)

[HTRN]

It was funny, you're just humor impaired.

Want another one?

A woman meets an extremely handsome man in a bar. They talk, they connect, they leave together.

When they get back to his place, he shows her around his apartment. She notices that his bedroom is completely packed with soft, sweet, cuddly teddy bears.

There are three shelves on one of the bedroom walls with hundreds and hundreds of teddy bears, carefully placed in rows, covering the entire wall.
It's obvious that he's taken quite some time to lovingly arrange them, and she's immediately touched by the amount of thought he's put into organizing the display. There are small bears all along the bottom shelf, medium-size bears covering the length of the middle shelf, and huge, enormous teddy bears running the entire length of the top shelf.

While she finds it strange for a young man to have a collection of teddy bears, especially one that's so extensive, she doesn't mention this to him. In fact, she is actually quite impressed by what she perceives as his sensitive side. All the while she's thinking to herself ...maybe this guy could be the one...maybe he could father my children... maybe...

She turns to him. They kiss. They rip off each other's clothes. They make hot and steamy love.

After an intense, explosive night of raw passion, as they are lying together in the afterglow, the woman rolls over, strokes his chest and asks coyly, "Well, how was it?"



The man replies: "Help yourself to any prize from the bottom shelf."


HTRN

[Rfairney]

Perhaps you are just easy to amuse ?

[HTRN]

No.

Perhaps you have no sense of humor?


HTRN

[Rfairney]

I have a sense of humor
It doesn't just laugh at bad jokes or rubbish

sorry to disapoint

[HTRN]

Well then, let's hear what you consider a gutbuster, Mr. comedy.


HTRN

[wocket]

[quote="Rfairney";p="507488"]I have a sense of humor
It doesn't just laugh at bad jokes or rubbish

sorry to disapoint[/quote]

Lies. Anyone who laughs at puns does NOT have a good sense of humor, as puns are generally bad rubbish jokes.

[Smaointe]

Cut it out, all of you. This isn't a thread about jokes, bad or otherwise.

[HTRN]

Now Emma is mad at me.

I tell you it's all Rfairney's fault!

<EDIT: Emma, how's the tongue doing? The swelling go down any yet?>

HTRN

[Smaointe]

Still very swollen and bruised. It bled a little when I woke up, but I seem to recall biting it during my sleep.

I'm trying to avoid speaking if I can, but mum keeps asking me questions from outside or far away and expects me to yell an answer.. OW.

[wocket]

My mommy says I might be able to get my tattoo on my 18th birthday! EEEEEE!

Smaointe, what kind of treatment have you been giving your tongue? And how long does swelling typically last if you get it pierced by a professional?

[Smaointe]

Initial swelling usually goes down anywhere between 3-5 days and 2 weeks. My first tongue piercing wasn't swollen after 5 days. 6 to 8 weeks later it is considered "healed". 1 year later it is considered "fully hardened"

I brush my teeth after meals and rinse with Biotene, and rinse with sea salt solution after any snacks or drinks. Trying to keep talking to a minimum.

I'm also taking 100mg of zinc and 500mg of vitamin c, which both help heal minor wounds. I'm drinking a lot of iced water and juice, to keep my fluids up and also to help with the swelling. Taking ibuprofen for the pain, and sucking on Strepsils (antibacterial & anaesthetic) lozenges.

Posted Mon Jun 13, 2005 1:19 pm:

By the way... swelling varies a lot depending on other things, not just whether it's professionally done.

The size and shape of your tongue, the placement, your body's reaction and immune response, your diet, whether you drink, whether you smoke, whether you abuse or take care of it in the first few days, the way you sleep....

Mine is slightly (and I do mean that.. slightly) more swollen than last time, but as a rule, venoms usually create more swelling because of their placement, so I expected it, and it is not making life a misery or anything.

Absolutely go to a professional to get it done... but don't make assumptions about what to expect, there are too many variables. The best thing to do is to read a whole lot of BME experiences (good and bad) so that you can see a variety of outcomes that REAL people have had. Website FAQs are ok, but I find it more helpful to read a whole lot of real stories, you get a much more balanced idea of what you're up for.

I read some stories where the venoms were perfect, and I read quite a few where they were an absolute disaster, lots of bleeding, and one person nearly had to be hospitalised (and this was a professionally done piercing, mind!). It's the best way to REALLY understand all the "what ifs".

My general advice would be to research your aftercare carefully and follow it to the letter; take zinc and vitamin c for faster healing; and get titanium jewellery if you can because it is a zillion times better than steel - you won't feel quite so uncoordinated because titanium is wonderfully light.