Life...In General...

[Never in Order]

...with a title of a thread like that, you were assuming some dumb sob story...right?

Well...to be honest...I'm really sick and tired of keeping everything locked up. I always either shut up or am just very passive of what goes on whenever there's a problem.

I'll just say my probs...maybe I could get a new perspective on how 2 work it out.

I'll start with family first...The relationship between my father and I...is bad. I mean don't get me wrong; As a father and son; we bonded...at first...until I was about 6 years old and I caught him with porn...Since then; it's been videos, Internet, IMs, Chats, Cybering...It's really disgusting...but probably the most disgusting thing is that my mom will never leave him. And not only does he cheat on my mother, but he is a pompous narcisistic sociopath that just wants to start sh*t with everybody he knows. Oh yeah...and when he gets really pissed...he beats me. Not as bad as others...and it's very rare...but I mean...he still does. One time I hit him back like 3 times...and I lost everything.

Another problem is my family's beliefs against Society. You see, I grew up as a christian. I would go to church every Sunday...I pray before I would eat, etc. etc. Now with all the gay marriage news and everything....I'm starting to stop believing in the Bible...I just don't understadn how it would be quoted for people to not love homosexuals. They're people too; and they can't help it. I remember; my best friend came out to me about a year ago. It's really hard...

Then on top of all this...I've been in love...and I've had my heart broken. I Started to crush on someone, and everything was going great...until the beginning of the new year when we found out we have no schedules; lunch periods; or afterskool activities alike...and sicne we haven't seen each other in forever...the deepness of the <3 wears off... v.v; Her ex can't stand be now and I have a class with him. I don't even like the girl anymore....which leads me to another thing...Does it sound good for a softomore to date a freshie? Cuz i like this freshie...but maybe i'm just being dumb...ugh I dunno....

I just need some time to rest....

Sry for wasting your time...and goodnight...

[Skuzzo]

Tough start to life... nobody deserves to do it that tough.

Parents: I'm 36 and my relationship with my father is basically dead. Long story involving some disturbing behaviour - not as bad as what you've had it. Anyway, it is a source of constant pleasure to me that I discovered later in life that my fathers ability to be a father had no bearing on my own ability. The bright spot you may be able to take out of it - one day - is that you have within you the ability to be a fantastic, caring, involved parent yourself one day. It might not make up for your childhood, but it will give you the ability to give your future children the chance at a better start in life.

Religion: It's a weird one. I find to comes and goes. I've gone through stages where I've completely walked away from it, and had other times when it's been a source of support and guidance. I wouldn't be too hard on the details - the core message is the important one, not the details. If you live a good, honest, reponsible life - while caring for those around you - then it makes a good start. Don't get bogged down by a single topic.

Girls: Ahhh...the joys of the female sex. My wife is 43. I tease her about the fact that if's she'd met me when she was 16, I would have been ten years old. Age matters more at your age, than it does later. There's probably some percentage thing that makes it more logical. 20% of your age plus or minus makes sense to me. Legal age of consent - now that's a whole different subject! I'm guessing your bigger concern is what your peers will think of it.

[Darkhan]

Hmm... Interesting first post...

1) I can't really talk about the dad thing. Other than sending Child Protective Services after him, I don't know anything you can do.

2) If you're losing your faith, that's fine with me. I'm an ex-Christian agnostic, so I know how you feel religiously. I can't really express my views on the Jeudeo-Christian god without offending a lot of people on these forums, so I'll just say this, "To thine own self be true".

3) You need to get over the highschool stupidity. Do you like the girl? If so, date her; if not, don't. If anyone gives you crap about it, tell them to kiss your ass. You don't need friends that are that superficial.

[Rileyrat]

Life can suck sometimes but I can tell you thisin respose to your problems...

1) I'm no mental expert but it sounds like your father has some sort of sexual disorder, looking at porn and such tends to be pretty normal for guys, what isn't normal is excessive use of porn. On the abuse topic, my father was a pretty good guy until he got a few drinks in him. He was prone to physical abuse when he was drunk, then he died when I was about 7.5 years old. Seems like a cure to the abusiveness but to be honest it left me pretty effed up for about 10 years. Then I found myself in the same pattern of violent behavior when drunk. I never hit my wife or son, my abuse was projected out onto fairly innocent people that I ran into while drunk. Was probably only a matter of time before I made the final connection. The moral of this is that reguardless of who and what your father is you either need a relationship or closure with him.

2) Alot of people lose faith when they get older. There are many things about christianity that can drive a person away from it, especially how they like to pick little mentioned things and blow them up, i.e. homosexuality, while things that were prevalent in the bible are ignored, such as divorce, gluttony, and marital infadelities. You are getting to the age where you will have to start making up your own mind on these things rather then have someone who is living in a past decade tell you what to think. If you still like your gay friend as a friend then keep on doing so if you think it is right.

3) At the most there isn't even 2 years between you and the girl you like, assuming neither of you has been held back that is. Even at your age two years isn't much, date her if you like her and she wants to date you.

[BtEO]

2) Christianity is not about going to church and doing as you're told, at least not as you get older. It's right, and should be encouraged to question things. It's much more important you know the "why" of things (in every aspect of life in fact, not just religion.) Perhaps for you it might come down to whether "Love thy neighbour" outweighs any anti-gay sentiment expressed in the bible, and whether your conclusions strengthen, of further destroy your faith.

I'm not in a position of offer advice on your other problems though, sorry.

[Jamie Bond]

Im gonna move this to Rants and Raves.

Err...
Welcome to the forum *shrug*

[PhoenixGeek]

On the first topic, you're young yet, soon you will be able to go to college and not have to worry as much about the problems at home. As people get older things either get better or worse, hope for the former rather than the later.
On religion I'll just repeat the do what feels right, I don't actually have any qualms with religion, just the organiziation of it. When you do get to higher education take a philosophy, ethics or world religion class, it will open your eyes to a lot of new ideas.
You're in High School, so is she, if you like her go for it. This should always be the case as long as it's still legal. There is little worse than living life with regrets of opportunities missed.

[edge]

I never liked hearing the "you're still young bit" myself :-/ I still here it from time to time, even though I dont' feel young anymore.

But honestly, I can relate on a lot of what you're saying. When I was a kid, my dad wasn't around a lot, because all he did was work and go to the bar. And then a lot of times he'd come home all drunked up and just rip into whoever was around. He never hit us kids, but I know he hit our mom a few times. She finally left him after I started college, and after that he had a lot of health problems and had to stop drinking. So now for the first time ever, I actually get along with him. But things will still never really be right.

But anyway, I definitly know the feeling. As of late I've pretty much hit the wall where I find myself asking "why do I bother to do anything?" I mean seriously, I just cant figure out what the point is. I don't remember the last time I really felt happy. All though elementary and high school, I was your classic example of a "loser".

On the bright side, when I go back to that area to visit friends and family, the people who spent our high school days beating the snot out of me are now bagging my groceries for $5/hr. So at least I can get some amusement out of that.

As far as girls go, it sounds like your not doing too bad if she was/is interested in you too. It could be worse. Girls just plain don't like me. So far, I have yet to meet any in person that aren't superficial and judgemental. Sometimes I wonder if they exist at all.

But don't fret! Just wait till you get to college. Classes may be a pain, but everything else is a blast. I'd do it again if I could afford it.

[chocolate]

i hope yo find your way out

[Euthanatos]

1. Fatherly abuse blows, and you won't win if you hit back. CPS or the police would be your best bet, it's hard but kinda required. Trust me, hitting back doesn't work; I found myself in jail when my mother took his side, not mine.

2. The Bible is meant to be stories and ideas to guide you. Not literal crap to blind you. People have changed, society has changed, and it has to adapt or go the way of dinosaur.

3. Just go after everyone else you can find. Women are whores, men are assholes, and love is just biological fiction.

[Rorschach]

Be patient. Your father is a severe beating looking for somewhere to happen and it's only a matter of time before he receives one. Try and make sure you have a decent vantage point - somewhere where, when he lifts a shattered and bloody hand through the blows and croaks 'Son...help... me', he can see you mouthing 'Die, fucker' at him

This, to me, is about your only serious problem. Love is always going to break your heart - until the day it doesn't but that's MIIIIIIIIIIIIIILES of pain away and religion is a tool that you should put down if you can't cut anything with it and it's only hurting your hand

Chin up, you've found us - and we fucking rule

[AzraeL]

sigged, because it's great..

[Kyros]

I'm not gonna touch #1, parental abuse and what to do about isn't something I think I can help ya with.

With #2 though, I was in the same boat when it came to Christianity and I just ended up ditching religion all together for now, it's all up to you though. Just remember no matter what the bible says about gays your best friend is your best friend.

On #3, first off don't worry, nothing wrong with a Sophmore dating a Freshman, careful though, last year as a Junior I dated a Freshman and it didn't end too well And forget about your old crushes Ex he probably won't do anything other then maybe try to start something with you, just shrug him off.