A situation I'm in...

[DerivedFromIntrospection]

First off, no, I am not an NES clone. Now that we've gotten that out of the way lets get to the main point of this thread.

Ok, so to give you a brief history of my situation I must take you all the way back to last June. One of my best friends had gone out with this girl from Connecticut that he had met from a summer camp awhile back, and unfortunately it was doomed from the start. So for some reason one day he gives me her screenname so that way I could act like a complete ass towards her just for the fun of it in defense of my friend. Well, after I started instant messaging her for awhile I stopped fooling around and started acting like myself. This conversation would later expand upon several phone calls for a couple of weeks which really pissed off my best friend and pretty much had me decide between his friendship or her potential relationship. I chose his friendship, and broke off connections completely with her for quite awhile.
Well, just last week as I was checking to see if someone that I needed to talk to was online, I suddenly get this instant message window popping up, and it's her just wanting to say hey. So we started talking again, catching up, because I felt kind of bad about how I ended things back in the summer. As predictable as this story is we get talking on the phone again, and this time it's even more serious. She now wants me to come see her in Connecticut this weekend which I was willing to do, however just last night while we were on the phone she kept repeatedly telling me that she loved me. Love? How so? Maybe shes in love with the idea of love, but how the hell can you love someone when you haven't even met them in person? So that whole thing has seriously got me in doubt about whether I should progress with this or not.
I mean, I'll admit I'm a fool for getting into these long distance relationships all the time. I'd like somebody nearby. I just don't see this being a good situation, but I wouldn't be posting this if I had made up my mind on the whole thing. I'm indecisive, so I need your advice. Should I wait and see what shes like in person this weekend, or should I just completely cut off all communications with her for good?

[Tigger]

From a girl's perspective: I wouldn't go. But neither would I cut off all communication. It sounds to me like she's attention starved - you showed her attention, now she's a puppy. Tell her you are very uncomfortable with her telling you she loves you when she hasn't really even met you. Tell her you're ok with being friends...online for now, maybe IRL if she can chill. If she can't chill...no meeting.

As for your friend - what an ass. To force you to choose between his friendship and her company was stupid and uncalled for. Just because HE has an issue with her doesn't mean YOU can't talk to her. Ultimatums are for weenies...and wives. And since he isn't your wife....

JMO....

[Blackie]

Well... first off you don't want to hurt her feelings if you really do like her, so far you know ehr personality, if you have seen her, and i mean if she has sent u pics, if it has been confirmed it is her, (nothing like showing up and finding someone completely different) then really it is up to you, I would know some long distance relationships like that can work out well.. but you have to be able to make them work, If you have any feelings for her at all, since you have been talking to her i am pretty sure you do... you really should think about it. But be careful since she did say she loves you, she could be one as you said who is in love with the idea, or jsut fals in love really easily which can be dangerous.
all in all it is still your decision, no one can say "YEAH GO FOR IT!" and if they do, they probably shouldn't be taken seriously unless they have a reason to back it up, I don't knw if this helps or not. But the key here is, if you do go becareful, because people can be different in person.

[Deacon]

End yourself. It's the only way.

[Negative Polarity]

Yes, it's the only way....

/me begins droning "On-ly way. On-ly way. On-ly way."

[KaymeeraUnleashed]

I sense a trap! Nobody says "I love you" repeatedly...

[Shyknight]

From personal experience, I would say

DON'T GO.

First you've got the LDR thing. People ARE different in person, and chances are she isn't worth the trip. I went on a similar trip and it did not go well at all.

Then you've got the "I love you" thing, which you yourself admit is a little creepy. I dated a girl who supposedly loved me 'at first sight'. She was too clingy and I was forced to end the relationship. Almost a year later, she still calls me at least once a day.

So yeah. Don't go.

[Rorschach]

In before the 'stick it in her pooper'

[KaymeeraUnleashed]

Stick it in her pooper!

[Dayan Rabalyn]

Not being a meanie here, but what happened to the 'Getting to know you' thread. It just seems recently everyone is introducing themselves this way

[Rorschach]

/me sticks it in Dayan Rabalyn's pooper

Actually, you bring up a good point.
It's awfully hard to advise someone whom you know nothing about

[Dayan Rabalyn]

I'd agree with the others on this one to be honest. People can be lovely over the phone and chatting to them on the internet, but in person they can be someone completely different. I'd see how she reacts when you say that you want to leave it for a while longer before you come to see her as you'd like to get to know her better. If she's sincere about your relationship then she will probably be fine with this and prepared to wait until you know each other a bit better. If she just snubbs you off she is more than likely just attention seeking and wants someone to dote on her for a few days and then push them to the side and move onto the next one. I'm not saying that she is like this, I'm just saying that you don't really know a person until you meet them face to face. It might be a great experiance to meet her, or it could be a disaster. I'm not saying you should never visit her, I'm just trying to save you ther heartbreak of going there and finding she's not what you thought. Get to know her more, wait a while and then go

Good Luck xx


P.S With regards to Ror's post after mine, It would be nice to know a bit about you, we might be able to advise you a bit better that way. Might be an idea if you pop along to the 'Getting to Know you' thread and just let people know the 'real you', you get a free muffin/cookie/pie!!!

P.P.S /sticks something else up Ror'sa pooper! Try getting THAT one out

[DerivedFromIntrospection]

Thank you to all who responded, including Deacon's witty comments . By the way, I posted a thread in the 'Get To Know You' forum. I hope that helps.

[UrzaPlanezwalker]

well, personally, for me long distance relationships don't work. However, i'm not going to tell you they never work because a good freind of mine is actually now living with a girl he met on a forum quite happily. Regardless of that fact, however, take it extremely slow, if you do anything of the sort at all.

In nes's thread Deacon said it quite well, she cant possibly love you, she doesent know you, she loves the idea of you. Thats the real danger there, is the fact that more then likely she has built you up into some sort of icon of perfection of her desires, not the actual you, and no matter how similar to that icon you are, you wont be able to measure up to it.

Basically, my best advice would be to take everything in this thread with a grain of salt. The reality of the matter is that we don't know you, and you don't know us. Why would you take the advice of a bunch of strangers on the internet you just met? Whatever we say, in the end your going to have to make your own decisions, and your own mistakes. All we can do is offer our insight and experiences, and allow you to judge them for yourself how you will.

[dmpotter]

[quote="Dayan Rabalyn";p="585461"]Not being a meanie here, but what happened to the 'Getting to know you' thread. It just seems recently everyone is introducing themselves this way [/quote]
Hey, I never bothered to post a "getting to know you" thread. Maybe I should, one day.

(Of course, the account was originally used primarily for the "Real Life Support Group" or whatever it was called, to get the MTG cards Greg made. If you don't know what I'm talking about, too bad. )