Worst Pickup Line (open-ended, of course)

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Deacon
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Post by Deacon » Mon May 15, 2006 3:17 pm

That's AWESOME! :D

I've got to use that at some point, but I think it'd be way too hard to make it look like I did it on purpose to a cute bartender.
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Post by AzraeL » Mon May 15, 2006 3:22 pm

Don't do it, I'ts embarassing... But it gets you a lay... :shifty:
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Post by Tigger » Mon May 15, 2006 3:32 pm

I think my brother has actually used a few stupid ones in his time. Of course, my brother is a flippin' moron so I'm not surprised.

"Hey, I'm new in town. I lost my address, can I have yours?"
"Fuck me if I'm wrong, but isn't your name Gretchen?"

and my personal favorite of his:

Drive down the street while drunk as hell and high on pot, screaming out the window "I love you, have sex with me" to every girl he sees! (while on the phone with me, supposedly wishing me a happy birthday, of course)
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[quote="bagheadinc";p="724695"]That's because your head is empty and has excellent acoustics. :P[/quote]
Deacon wrote:Lady, people aren't chocolates. You know what they are, mostly? Bastards. Bastard coated bastards with bastard filling. But I don't find them half as annoying as I find naive, bubble-headed optimists who walk around vomiting sunshine.
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Post by AzraeL » Mon May 15, 2006 3:42 pm

Drive down the street while drunk as hell and high on pot, screaming out the window "I love you, have sex with me" to every girl he sees! (while on the phone with me, supposedly wishing me a happy birthday, of course)
I've done that drunk before...Not.
Last edited by AzraeL on Tue May 16, 2006 6:50 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Tigger
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Post by Tigger » Mon May 15, 2006 3:48 pm

Once, I could see. But my brother (when not in jail/prison) is always drunk - or high. Take your pick.

Did I forget to mention he'll be 36 this year? And he pulled this stunt 2 years ago?
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[quote="bagheadinc";p="724695"]That's because your head is empty and has excellent acoustics. :P[/quote]
Deacon wrote:Lady, people aren't chocolates. You know what they are, mostly? Bastards. Bastard coated bastards with bastard filling. But I don't find them half as annoying as I find naive, bubble-headed optimists who walk around vomiting sunshine.
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Post by AzraeL » Mon May 15, 2006 3:50 pm

Yes...But he's happy?
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Post by Tigger » Mon May 15, 2006 3:58 pm

Nope, completely miserable. Which is why he's currently in prison serving 3-5.
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[quote="bagheadinc";p="724695"]That's because your head is empty and has excellent acoustics. :P[/quote]
Deacon wrote:Lady, people aren't chocolates. You know what they are, mostly? Bastards. Bastard coated bastards with bastard filling. But I don't find them half as annoying as I find naive, bubble-headed optimists who walk around vomiting sunshine.
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Post by wocket » Mon May 15, 2006 4:38 pm

....Wow, Tigger. Just wow.

I forgot this little gem!:
"Nice car, wanna fuck?"

In a place without any cars for a good 100 feet in each direction. Also, I was 10.
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Post by Tigger » Mon May 15, 2006 4:40 pm

Oh it gets worse wocket. I won't even go in to WHY he's there. It's not worth it! Just know he's a terrible loser and if I didn't have to claim him I wouldn't.

And wow for you too...at 10?!
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Spoiler: (click to reveal/hide)
[quote="bagheadinc";p="724695"]That's because your head is empty and has excellent acoustics. :P[/quote]
Deacon wrote:Lady, people aren't chocolates. You know what they are, mostly? Bastards. Bastard coated bastards with bastard filling. But I don't find them half as annoying as I find naive, bubble-headed optimists who walk around vomiting sunshine.
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Post by naturesrevolt » Mon May 15, 2006 5:05 pm

I remember this one my friend said when we were clubbing and still in the club "hey, can I check your oil? You look like you need to be topped off."
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Post by Nukinblackmage » Mon May 15, 2006 5:22 pm

Wait, people DON'T run off of oil? ...uh-oh.
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Post by HTRN » Tue May 16, 2006 2:43 am

[quote="Deacon";p="634261"]I've got to use that at some point, but I think it'd be way too hard to make it look like I did it on purpose to a cute bartender.[/quote]

This coming from one of the people who chewed me out for hitting on "E". :P (admittedly, I did it more than once.)

Some of the horrible, horrible pickup lines I've used:

"I can lick my eyebrows".
"Don't you want to go out with somebody with a vast fortune and scrupulous honesty? Okay, I admit it. I'm broke and a liar. Still wanna go out?"(This was used on "E", and actually got a giggle out of her)
"Look at this way, you'll be getting a free breakfast"

Yup, I'm a smooth operator. :shifty:


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Post by naturesrevolt » Tue May 16, 2006 3:52 am

haha, those are damn funny HTRN, and if used correctly, will actually work, just always have to avoid the stale ones.
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HTRN
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Post by HTRN » Tue May 16, 2006 4:36 am

Wimmin always tell me "you're so funny!"
Wimmin say they want they want a guy who can make them laugh.

Wimmin LIE. :cry:

Right now, I got one of my friends nutbar ex girlfriends stalking me, because she wants to make me jealous, who as it happens knows the woman who's pants I was trying to get into six months ago.

My life is a goddamn Soap Opera. :evil:


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[quote="Scowdich";p="726085"]Karl Rove's hurricane machine stole my lunch money.[/quote]
amlthrawn wrote:This was no ordinary rooster. He had a look about him.
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Post by Koeniou » Tue May 16, 2006 4:44 am

I guess there is little point in pointing out that most women would slap a man (or just plain ignore him) who calls them "wimmin".


I found a guy who is funny, and who makes me laugh. Huzzah.

As for bad pickup lines....well I've never used any. But I've had a few of them used on me, but not many stick out in my mind right now.
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