Christmas weekend shot to hell

Post by **Martin Blank** » Sun Dec 24, 2006 3:40 pm

This year was to be a bit different from past years, courtesy of Jez going to visit her family this weekend. Because of this, the original plan was approximately this:

Dec 22: Go out in the evening to parents' place, exchange gifts between me, Jez, and my parents, stay night at parents' house because it's close to the airport Jez will use.
Dec 23: Take Jez to airport, come back home, do various tasks which take some time.
Dec 24: Complete tasks, go to brother's birthday dinner
Dec 25: Spend day at parents, exchange gifts with rest of family

Mostly, it was just a bit of schedule juggling. However, my paternal grandfather, who lives in Laughlin, NV, had a heart attack earlier in the week as he was arriving at work (he's nearly 90 and puts in 40 hours per week). His angiogram was put off because he was found to have a touch of pneumonia. They finally did the angiogram on Friday, and determined that he needed to have bypass surgery. Clearly, this is a concern, but he's had stents put in on a couple of occasions so there's nothing to make us think that this will do anything more than knock him off of his feet for a couple of months.

Neither Laughlin nor its cross-river cousin, Bullhead City, AZ, has a hospital capable of performing open-heart surgery, so he has to be transferred to Las Vegas for this to be done, with the surgery itself probably either on Christmas Eve or Day. My parents took their dog with them, and they can't go back and forth all day long since it's a two-hour drive, so they call me on Friday evening asking if I can go out to watch the dog while they're in Vegas with my grandfather.

So, let's sum this up.

Circumstances originally left me alone at home for Christmas, but near friends. Circumstances now have me alone at my grandfather's apartment, 300+ miles -- five hours, ignoring traffic -- away, with no nearby friends and no internet connection to speak of. They, of course, simply run on the assumption that hotels don't take pets and don't bother to look for something that will.

Additional points of aggravation:

Mom said she'd call me Saturday morning between 9am and 10am to tell me what was happening. I'll come back to this later in the interests of chronology.

Jez and I decided to stay the night at their house anyway, so we head out there. Just before arriving, we stop off to get some food, wagering that something will be available that will not annoy my acid reflux that has been bothering me the latter half of the day. Food is bought, and we go to the house... only to find that I have forgotten the keys. So we drive back the 25 miles to my house, grab the keys, go back to their house, and get in. Change the cats' water as requested, and then sit down to eat before getting some sleep. I eat the mac & cheese without serious issue, then go looking for my bland burrito. Hmm... Not in the bag... Not in the car... Great dinner. I simply curl up and go to sleep.

I take Jez to the airport in the morning, and things seem to be going well enough. She's easily on-time for her flight, the weather in Denver (connecting point) allows the airport there to be partially open, and it's bright and shiny outside. It's almost enough to put a crack into my internal mood. I drive home, getting there about 7:30am, and settle in to wait for the call. Nine o'clock comes. So does ten. So does eleven. At 11:30, I call to ask what's going on, since I'm putting off car maintenance for this. At 4:30pm, Mom calls back. They don't know what's going on, but he won't be transferred before Christmas Eve. "Oh, I didn't ever mean for you to come out today. I'm sorry I didn't call back this morning to tell you that we were still waiting on things. Why are you mad?"

Nevermind.

Call last night. "You don't need to come out. They have no idea what's going on, so it probably won't happen until Monday or Tuesday. We'll get a kennel for the dog [you couldn't check on that before?] so it won't be so expensive for us." Of course, they're thinking of the $30 or so per day for the kennel, as opposed to the $45 each day in fuel for my car.

Call this morning, about 35 minutes ago. "They're transferring him today, so you need to come out. I know it's hard, but someone has to watch the dog." Great. Love the rollercoaster. But I look and see that there are hotel rooms that accept pets, and call them about 20 minutes ago. She'll talk to Dad about it. Got a call back just now. They won't let pets stay in the room alone.

The part that really gets me the most is that I feel like I'm being treated like a pet-sitter. Not once has anyone said, "We really appreciate this" or even just a quick "Thank you." The only thanks that I have gotten through this whole thing is when Mom thanked me for agreeing to make sure the cats' water was changed. And lest anyone think I'm being callous to my grandfather, that has nothing to do with this. If I was asked to come out because he wanted or needed my presence, I would do it without question, but that's not what's happening here. He's going to be a hundred miles away from where I will be, where I can't see him, and where I may not even be able to call him. I'll get some thanks, I know, right before they walk out the door to make the trip up to Vegas. But that always feels hollow, like a final thought on the way out the door.

I should take them each one of their gifts (we got each a CD), just to throw some guilt at them.

Jamie Bond · Post by **Jamie Bond** » Sun Dec 24, 2006 4:19 pm

ahh... man
well... uhh

Merry Christmas?

Rorschach · Post by **Rorschach** » Sun Dec 24, 2006 6:39 pm

Yeah, pisher man. You have my sympathies, for what they're worth.

Roll on January the 3rd...

Memo · Post by **Memo** » Sun Dec 24, 2006 6:56 pm

Why did you felt compelled to say 'Yes'?
Really, you could have said that you had plans and you wouldn't have been lying at all.

wocket · Post by **wocket** » Sun Dec 24, 2006 8:37 pm

Personally, I would have said something about not being able to be with my grandfather during his ordeal. But we already knew you're a better person than I am.

Good luck dealing with all this.

Yira Heerai · Post by **Yira Heerai** » Sun Dec 24, 2006 11:27 pm

Hope everything turns out for the better.

For what its worth, they might just be frazzled by all this. Sometimes, when dealing with something big, people will focus on the smaller things. It might be your mother's way of coping.

I could also be entirely wrong.

Sympathies and well wishes though.

Post by **Blaze** » Mon Dec 25, 2006 5:31 am

Perhaps Jez will return from her family with a giant, sweaty wad of inheritance in her palm and take you fun places till it's all better?

Merry Christmas anyhow.

Jezebel · Post by **Jezebel** » Mon Dec 25, 2006 5:59 am

/me gives Martin a long distance hug

jimkatai · Post by **jimkatai** » Mon Dec 25, 2006 7:57 am

You could have looked into the kennel yourself, too, but that isn't a criticism, just more of a late suggestion. Sucks, man. Well, maybe Merry day after Christmas... or Merry whenever you don't have to go through this crap again Day.

Ric_Price · Post by **Ric_Price** » Mon Dec 25, 2006 8:55 am

Martin,

I sincerely hope things start getting better for you over the next couple days. You are in my thoughts and prayer man.

Bigity · Post by **Bigity** » Thu Dec 28, 2006 1:54 pm

Having two dogs that don't usually travel with us, I can understand the hassle with pets and hotels, relatives that don't like dogs, etc.

Hope your granddad gets well soon.

Post by **Martin Blank** » Sat Dec 30, 2006 8:05 pm

Alright, first post back from absence due to (yet more) computer problems and a complete lack of internet while out there because all he has is very poor dial-up, reception for all cell phone companies is spotty at best, and the phone had to be open in case of a call from the hospital.

About 30 minutes after I made the post that started this thread, I had everything I needed together and had left. I had to fuel up and grab something to eat, so I headed off to a local station where I could also get the car rinsed off, as a shiny Charlene always makes me feel a little better. On the way there, mom called with another update and to let me know where to find the key in case I got there after they left. After that little bit, she said, "You don't know how much this helps us out, and how much we appreciate it." Right there, probably three-fourths of the irritation I felt simply disappeared. You were probably right, Yira, and they were so busy dealing with things that they forgot. That's one of the reasons that I didn't say anything to them about it (that and thanks after a request for gratitude also feels hollow).

When I got there after a surprisingly quick trip (virtually no traffic along any freeway), they were still there finishing some laundry before leaving. We talked a little bit, but I was fairly tired and so didn't have all that much to say. The hospital called shortly thereafter and said that the surgery had been delayed until at least Monday, and because of a mix of the drive from Laughlin to Las Vegas combined with visiting hours, they would only get about an hour, and my grandfather saw no reason for them to drive three to four hours total just to get only an hour with him, if that. So Mom made dinner, we talked a little about various things (including a surprisingly tame political discussion), and they went to bed, since they were heading up to the hospital the next morning. I ended up playing some Civ4 and Pirates for a while, watched Grosse Pointe Blank, and then went to bed.

On Monday, I awoke well after they left, and spent much of the day playing games and flipping through the TV once in a while. Eventually I got a couple of calls from my parents that the surgery was being delayed again because the doctors wanted my grandfather off of blood thinners for at least five days due to his advanced age (he'll be 90 on 17 Jan), pushing the date to probably Thursday. When my parents got back to the apartment, they apologized for having me go out there basically for no reason, but my dad said, "This is the best Christmas present you could have gotten for us."

I left that night (having to work on Tuesday) feeling better about things. My annoyance was still there regarding Saturday's schedule, but the show of appreciation and gratitude dealt with most of the other feelings.

The surgery happened on Thursday, and they ended up doing quadruple bypass. He came out OK, and after a couple more days in the hospital will be going through a two-week stint in a clinic of some sort to monitor his heart and slowly build up activity levels. Two more weeks of rest, and he may be able to go back to work -- something he's been griping about since he had to go to the hospital in the first place. Not that he has to go back to work, though -- that it will be a month before they'll let him.

Yira Heerai · Post by **Yira Heerai** » Sun Dec 31, 2006 2:23 am

I'm so glad everything turned out okay. Your grandfather sounds like a real tough guy (and pretty neat too). It's probably not much since he doesn't know me and all that, but I wish him a safe recovery.

Here's to hoping that everything keeps looking up

Tigger · Post by **Tigger** » Sun Dec 31, 2006 2:43 am

I, too, am very glad to hear that things worked out - and that family remembered to say thanks.

I can't believe your grandfather is still working at the age of 90...holy moses!

Jezebel · Post by **Jezebel** » Sun Dec 31, 2006 5:51 am

His grandpa is pretty nuts! He'd work 90 hour weeks if he could.

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