July 15, 08 Delays

[serindela]

Low laying clouds? You sure they didn't mean smoke? LOL... I live in northern CA and all we have is smoke and heat right now. What I wouldn't give for some good clean fog!

[Jedit]

I would have used "Feeling A Bit Over The Weather" as the title.

This comic reminded me of the Least Successful Weather Forecast Ever, from Stephen Pile's classic Book of Heroic Failures [1]. The report was aired on an Arabic radio station, and ran roughly like this:

"We apologise for not being able to bring you the weather report today. This is because we receive our weather information from the airport, which is currently closed due to weather conditions. When the weather improves and the airport re-opens, we will once more be able to bring you the latest weather news."



[1] Which was itself so successful that it got a sequel, leading to Pile's being ousted from the presidency of the Not Terribly Good Club of Great Britain on grounds of competence.

[ampersand]

The really sad thing is windy conditions is exactly why Chicago's O'Hare tends to have more delays than any other national airport. Denver's delays are either due to snow, or air turbulence. Well, when your airport is stuck on a mountain top that wind and air pressure has to go over or around, you're going to have CAT, clear air turbulence.

Jedit: I'm going to have to get that book, and its sequel. What's the name of the sequel?

[Bradf0rd]

Denver's delays are either due to snow, or air turbulence. Well, when your airport is stuck on a mountain top that wind and air pressure has to go over or around, you're going to have CAT, clear air turbulence.

As someone who lives in Denver and travels for business frequently, *shakes fist at United* I have to say that Denver International is not built on a mountain top. Denver, as much as they love to play up their "We're in the Rockies" tourism, is actually on the high plains. If I look east, it's pretty sad as there is nothing but flat land. It's pretty much a slow slope from here to the Mississippi River. You are right though, in that the Rockies do cause some CRT. Out of all my flights in and out of DIA this year (I'm around 12 or 14 now), only one or two have been smooth at the edge of the Rockies.

[Deacon]

You are right though, in that the Rockies do cause some CRT.

Catastrophic Rectal Turbulence?

[Hirschof]

The worst flights for me are over the Gulf of Mexico. Every airplane I've been on to Florida has scared the shit out of me.

Best flight = Lufthansa from Houston (switched airplanes in Frankfurt) to Rome.

[Jedit]

Jedit: I'm going to have to get that book, and its sequel. What's the name of the sequel?

The Return of Heroic Failures. They're a brilliant pair of books, albeit somewhat out of date. In addition to the anecdote I quote here, they contain a complete list of all Parliamentary candidates ever to receive no votes in a by-election (a feat that sadly became impossible when the rules were changed to allow a candidate to vote for himself); the comedy of manners which was somehow performed in the absence of its leading man, which led at one point to the entire cast laughing for no reason at all and a man fighting a duel by himself (thus answering the age-old question, "what if they gave a war and only one side came?"); the British Army unit who rescued a cat from a tree during a fireman's strike only to drive their truck over it as they departed; and the marvellous tale of history's Least Successful Duel. Challenged by an opponent he could not beat and unable to decline for his honour's sake, Our Hero took advantage of having choice of location and weapons by picking a pitch-dark cellar and carpenter's axes that neither man was strong enough to lift. Honestly, you cannot make this stuff up.

Oh, and one more - the Least Successful Pantomime Performance, which had an audience of two. History remains silent as to what happened when they divided the audience to sing along with the hero and the villain.

(It seems there's also a third volume called Cannibals in the Cafeteria and Other Fabulous Failures, but it may be a reprinted anthology - I recall the Least Successful Taxi Ride being in one of the first two.)

[athene]

I showed this comic to my friend who actually works for United at the Austin airport and he said that the other day in Chicago there was "wind sheer" which can literally sheer a plane in half.

[Deacon]

No. No, it can't. Wind shear is just different wind, meaning you might have winds blowing left to right then right to left then left to right again before you reach the end of the runway, which makes it very hard to steer and keep everything steady. Yes, it can be dangerous. No, it can't shear a plane in half, literally or otherwise.

[Mae Dean]

Yeah - wind shearing a plane in half is one of the absolute DUMBEST things I've ever heard.

Like, ever.

[adciv]

It can however, blow a plane right off the runway. (while it's trying to land)

[collegestudent22]

You are right though, in that the Rockies do cause some CRT.

Catastrophic Rectal Turbulence?

Isn't all rectal turbulence catastrophic???