Democratic National Convention 2008

[Deacon]

I've been switching back and forth between this event and other television viewing, but to be honest, I find listening to a bunch of self-congratulatory, pompous, blowhard windbags go on and on about how great they are--especially when they're incredibly annoying to watch speak (like Nancy "Down With Hillary I Should Be First" Pelosi)--ranks right up there with nestling my face up in a rotten crotch in the list of things I really do not look forward to. Why so much time is spent trying to spin up people like Ted Kennedy into freaking superman, I don't know. It seems so irrelevant, especially considering how little this wealthy, entitled, oversexed murderer accomplished and how many people dislike his most well-known programs like No Child Left Behind that he turned his back on when Bush picked it up.

Anyway, one little amusing coincidence was that they were interviewing two delegates from Massachusetts, two women: a confused and mottled old bat and a young, pastel-sweater-vest wearing young bore. The great part was really their names: Mary O'Brien and Molly O'Grady. I didn't realize Massachusetts was THAT over-run with stereotypical Irish


EDIT: I just listened to a speech some yahoo was giving where he lists out all the good things the Republicans are supposed to be (for fiscal responsibility, individual freedoms and responsibility, etc) and then denounced them for straying from these values. What's absolutely mind-boggling about this is that I know the point of that is to try to convinced frustrated Libertarians and conservative Republicans to abandon the party and vote for Change™, it's a little like telling a black guy that his local politician has been too corrupt, so vote in the local grand dragon of the KKK instead. If the Republicans have lost their way, then Obama's sweeping promises of pie in every sky and the moon on every plate and feeding the entire convention from a single spread of 2 loaves and 3 fishes is so far down that lost path that it really makes so little sense to beckon to disgruntled Republican voters.

[The Cid]

Why would you watch the DNC?

I mean, we're talking about you here. Why would Deacon say to himself "you know what I want to watch? A pep rally for a political group I don't agree with one bit."

Senator Kennedy got the royal treatment because everybody loves groggy uncle Teddy. He's the Robert Downey Jr. of the Senate. (And I can't make much more fun of him, because if Massachusetts EVER needs ANYTHING from the federal government we're going to get it from Ted. So as long as I live here I can't badmouth the senior senator because my hometown may need his help someday and Heaven knows that help isn't coming from John Kerry.)

The great part was really their names: Mary O'Brien and Molly O'Grady. I didn't realize Massachusetts was THAT over-run with stereotypical Irish

Oh go ride your hoss, Tex.

[Deacon]

Why would you watch the DNC?

I thought it would be interesting to see what the motley crew of off-the-reservation looney leftists and well-meaning but confused soccer moms and Type-A control freak abrasive feminists and woefully out of touch celebrities and oh-so-downtrodden entitled minorities would be doing and saying about the Great Obama with his nicely manicured messiah complex. I figured it'd be entertaining at least. I've been wrong before. The mawkish saccharine is enough to give me diabetes, the spin's got me dizzy, the hot air should be put nearly enough to put a dent in the overwhelmingly massive carbon footprint of this event, and the bullshit's being piled so high I know at some point there's going to be a very disgusting mudslide--and no, I don't mean the scatological ammunition being wielded by Recreate '68 outside the building.

[Deacon]

Man, politics is fucking disgusting, and politicians--especially the party hacks parading by in conventions--are completely shameless whores. The really sad part is I don't really expect much better from the RNC next week.

PS For the loyal Clinton hangers-on: Clinton didn't orchestrate the .COM boom and had nothing to do with a successful economy that occurred despite his policies. He didn't produce a single thing other than semen and sexual assault, nor had he for many years before even taking office. The only thing he produced was an Arkansas left in shambles. Neither was the boom orchestrated by the primarily Republican houses of Congress at the time. If anything, he has to answer for the bursting of the bubble 2 years before his exit. Get off the man's nuts and face reality.

PPS If I hear one more bullshit remark about "the Bush-McCain economic policies" and any other such hyphenation, and if you don't start swallowing your tongue about "lolz 4 moar yrs" I might just have to put my foot right up your ass. If you think McCain means four more years of Bush, then you're either desperately ignorant or shamefully dishonest.

[ampersand]

Just in case you need a pretty good drinking game to pass the time while hearing Obama's speech before he gets sacked by a Bronco linebacker.

I would add:

• Talks about how much he cares for environmental reform and/or praises Al Gore -- 2 drinks and try to find a stick of dynamite.
• A shout-out to his wife and kids -- 1 drink (repeat shout-outs, 2 drinks and erase every Extra show you've saved on the DVR).
• Mentioning that he was raised from Kansas or the mean streets of Kansas-- 1 drink and eat some sunflower seeds
• Any reference to "Mission Accomplished" -- chug
• Any reference to his extended family living in Africa -- chug and rent Coming to America.
• Any reference to a foreign country or foreign issues -- 3 drinks, preferably vodka
• Any statement suggesting that America ought to be more like a foreign country -- chug and better go find that passport.

[adciv]

[*]Any statement suggesting that America ought to be more like a foreign country -- chug and better go find that passport.[/list]

Modification: Chug 1 drink that is a traditional drink of that country.

[collegestudent22]

Mentioning that he was raised from Kansas or the mean streets of Kansas-- 1 drink and eat some sunflower seeds

Obama wasn't raised in Kansas. He was raised in a combination of Indonesia and Hawaii.....

[bagheadinc]

My roommate just informed me that I "missed a piece of American history" because I didn't watch Obama's speech.

[collegestudent22]

My roommate just informed me that I "missed a piece of American history" because I didn't watch Obama's speech.

The sad thing is, if he doesn't win, when a black person does, he will only be a footnote....

[ampersand]

According to one of his own political ads he was born and raised in Kansas (for maybe a year or two), hence the 1 drink rule.

[Gowerlypuff]

I can't find that many places to drink

[collegestudent22]

According to one of his own political ads he was born and raised in Kansas (for maybe a year or two), hence the 1 drink rule.

No, he said his grandparents were from the "Kansas heartland", and while he may have visited them on ocassion, he spent 5th-12th grade in Hawaii, and before that was in Indonesia.

[Dr. Tower]

He was born in Hawaii in '61, in '67 he moved to Indonesia with his mother and her new husband, in '71 he moved back to Hawaii where he eventually finished high school. So yes, before his 5th grade year he was in Indonesia, before that, though, he was in Hawaii.

His mother was from Kansas (and her parents probably were initially too).

Edit: also, when he moved back to Hawaii in '71, he moved in with his maternal grandparents (who had moved there from Kansas), so saying that he "visited them on occasion" is flat out false, as he lived with them.

[Deacon]

To be honest, I'm not really sure Obama would hold up well against being judged on the content of his character. He's had the benefit of being unknown to most Americans before this process, but there are still a couple of months before the general election...

You know what? I have a dream, too: that people will take the time to think critically about both the person and their policies and the effects of both. So far, this remains a dream deferred.

[collegestudent22]

Edit: also, when he moved back to Hawaii in '71, he moved in with his maternal grandparents (who had moved there from Kansas), so saying that he "visited them on occasion" is flat out false, as he lived with them.

I was referring to when they still lived in Kansas. I didn't know for sure about that time (or when specifically they moved), so I speculated that before they did, he MAY have visited them. I don't think that is entirely unreasonable....