Yes I am okay!

[Doc Giggles]

I'm quiet by choice. I just don't feel the need to make a comment about everything that is posted here. Don’t confuse someone making fun of themselves as a plea for attention.

[Miroku]

Since the level of your presence has lessened, many people that spend a lot of time online might easily misinterpret that as being a problem, rather than a natural progression toward less time spent online. If you are someone that spent a lot of time online with others that spend a lot of time online, then your extended absences will be noticed. But for many people, growing to spend less time online is a natural progression of their lives. I think most people... not all.. but most... eventually come to find less of a need to spend a lot of time online. Things like Ultima Online, FurryMUCK, or whatever serve less of a purpose, and fill less of a void for them as they grow than it did before. Those that still use their online time as big part of their social and recreational activities misinterpret this natural abandonment of the online world for new activites in the real world, such as a new job, new family, new hobbies, etc. as something being wrong.

That's not to say the folks that spend a lot of time online are losers or anything.. that's just their recreational and social preference at times. Many of them will eventually grow away from the online world as well. But, until they do, they may not see your extended absences as a good thing. Not all absences from online stuff is for good reasons, but often it is.

I think spending a lot of time online often starts out as recreation and social enjoyment, and eventually becomes more of a habit than anything. I shun online gaming like the plague, but used to do a lot of MUCKing in the past. There came a time when the enjoyment of the interaction steadily declined for me, but I continued to spend time online, often at the expense of a good night's rest. Eventually, though, events in my life forced me away from having the opportunity to log onto the MUCKs and such I frequented. That time broke the habit. When I was once again able to go back to playing online, I found it no longer held any interest for me. Eventually it got to the point where I no longer do anything like MUCKs or IRC or such.

I think this happens for a lot of folks. The people you used to socialize with, however, take your absence as meaning there's something wrong or you no longer like them. So, then you get situations like you described. I think the rationale for their question is not so much "You seem like something's wrong, is it?" but more like "Your behaviors that I am used to have changed.. is there a reason I should be concerned about?" Of course, there is often nothing to be concerned about. For myself, that change was not because of bad things, but because of good things. Many folks that spend a lot of time socializing online, however, might have a hard time understanding how someone who is considered one of them could not elect to continue behaving as everyone else does.

Look at it this way... say you're a big Ultima Online person with a lot of personal contacts in the game (in my biased view, a person you know online but have never met really doesn't constitute a "friend," but that's just me). Now, say you announce to everybody that you're retiring from the game because you want to spend your evenings catching up on your reading and getting to bed early. This, of course, to you, is a good thing. But.... imagine the flood of concerned letters you would probably get asking you what the "real" reason is, and if everything is okay. Basically, you've exhibited a behavior different than what they're used to.

At least you can be happy they're expressing concern for your well being, rather than exhibiting feelings of betrayal for your change in behaviors.

[MissCheetah]

Right around the time I had to move, and for a few months after, I spent almost no time online. I was just too busy and stressed out. I did not feel like chatting and if I had then I would have just snapped at people. I had to put up with the badgering from a few persons as well. I tended to just go into invis mode on ICQ so that people would not bother me. I also DID have to tell a few people to stop the whiny bullshit and leave me alone. Don't take it personally if I don't feel like talking. When they whine at me it DOES become a personal thing where I avoid that person. I don't need interrogation every time I get online. People learned after while not to do it to me. I appreciated the concern, but it gets overwhelming and quickly becomes annoying.

[Martin Blank]

Miroku: You make some good points, but this is far from the first time Jez has brought it up. She's mentioned it in her Journal, as well as bringing it up to individual people on a regular basis. For a while, she and I were sharing my computer, and sometimes my activities would use the computer for a few days at a time, so she wouldn't log in at all. During that time, she'd be happy enough curled up with a stack of books, and I would let her know if anything significant happened that may need her to log in.

She's basically been dealing with this for the last seven months. One would think that people would figure out that she's not at the computer 24/7 after that amount of time.

[Miroku]

Well, I was commenting more on the phenomena that can occur in such scenarios, moreso than her particular situation.

[Fixer]

[quote="Doc Giggles";p="162576"]Nobody ever asks me if I'm alright when I get quiet and pensive. I think it could have something to do with the fact that I am always quiet.[/quote]
... and pensive. Don't forget pensive.

[quote="Satsuki";p="162914"]Hey, I have boobs and nobody ever asks if I'm ok.... might have something to do with the fact that I'm STILL perma-banned from the chatroom though. Hey Martin, if you let me back in, I'll donate you some of my Blood pool points.[/quote]
Don't do it Martin! It's not worth it! While you are at it, can we ban her in here? Probably not, she's not THAT annoying.

[quote="MissCheetah";p="163744"]Right around the time I had to move, and for a few months after, I spent almost no time online. I was just too busy and stressed out. I did not feel like chatting and if I had then I would have just snapped at people. I had to put up with the badgering from a few persons as well.[/quote]
Wow, glad I only msged you a few times. And then kept them brief. Just making sure my netsister was keeping her head about her.

As is, there have been a few times when I disappeared for a week or so. No one noticed. Guess I am kind of glad on this, as I am quite capable of fending for myself. Perhaps others do not trust Martin to take care of Jezzy? Hmmmm??? Get REAL PEOPLE! Jez is fine, she will come and visit when the is damned well ready. Preferrably when she is not angry which would be when you are not bothering her and asking her if she is OK.