The Thread Dedicated to the Lamest Jokes in the World.

eskimospoon · Post by **eskimospoon** » Fri Nov 07, 2003 2:45 pm

What's red and looks like a bucket?
A red bucket

Mo0 · Post by **Mo0** » Fri Nov 07, 2003 3:25 pm

What does Michael Jackson call his Tickle me Elmo doll?
Bait.

What do Michael Jackson and K-Mart have in common?
They both have boy's panties half off.

siriansenemy · Post by **siriansenemy** » Fri Nov 07, 2003 3:30 pm

Why does the Driver's Ed. class at a redneck school only have the car on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays?
The Sex Ed. class uses it on Tuesdays and Thursdays.

How do you know if you're ugly?
Dogs hump your leg with their eyes closed.

What do you call a farmer in Alabama with a sheep under each arm?
A pimp.

Fenix23 · Post by **Fenix23** » Sat Nov 08, 2003 5:02 am

I always liked telling people this one...

Hey, I know a great Knock Knock joke... They answer Ok... Alright but you got to start it...

They go "ok, Knock Knock"
You say "Who's there?"

and then usually you run away before they kick you.

tannii · Post by **tannii** » Sat Nov 08, 2003 8:24 am

Fenix23, I tried that on my brother.

He just stared at me.

Evil Ghaleon Strife · Post by **Evil Ghaleon Strife** » Sat Nov 08, 2003 9:37 pm

A baby seal walks into a club.

(Christian offense joke. They're the best ones..

)

Q: What's the difference between a priest and acne?
A: Acne doesn't come on a boy's face until he hits puberty.

Post by **Blaze** » Sat Nov 08, 2003 9:45 pm

That, EGS....... was evil.

MasteR · Post by **MasteR** » Sat Nov 08, 2003 10:46 pm

insulting to christians. so stop reading

Jesus walks into a hotel and gives the man at the couter 3 nails and says "put me up for the night".

What kind of meat do Priests eat on sundays.
None (nun)

Evil Ghaleon Strife · Post by **Evil Ghaleon Strife** » Sat Nov 08, 2003 11:04 pm

I got my name from somewhere, now didn't I?

A blonde walks into a doctor's office with headphones on. She says "Doc, my head hurts." He asks her to take the headphones off, and she may feel better. She said "No, I'll die." After about 10 minutes, he gets her to take them off. She dies right there in front of the doctor. He listens to the headphones, and he hears "Breathe in, breathe out."

Lord Hawking · Post by **Lord Hawking** » Sun Nov 09, 2003 7:27 am

What's brown and sticky?
A stick (sicko)

Nanosphere · Post by **Nanosphere** » Mon Nov 10, 2003 2:23 am

Q: Why do ducks have big flat feet?
A: To stamp out forest fires.

Q: Why do elephants have big flat feet?
A: To stamp out flaming ducks.

Interitus · Post by **Interitus** » Mon Nov 10, 2003 8:29 am

[quote="chaos42";p="206454"]Knock Knock
Who's There?
Interupting Cow
Interupting Co...
MOO!
[/quote]

I started telling this one to a friend over ICQ like a regular knock knock joke. Forgot I couldnt interrupt her..

So I told her the 2nd one instead

Love this thread

Baggi · Post by **Baggi** » Mon Nov 10, 2003 8:54 am

How can you tell if an elephant has been in the fridge... ?
Footprints in the butter.

Why do elephants paint their toenails red... ?
So they can hide in cherry trees.

What did Nelson say to his men before they got on the ship... ?
Get on the ship men.

Where did Napoleon keep his armies... ?
In his sleevies.

Where are the Andies...?
On the end of your armies.

Why did the Irishman fall in the sink...?
He was tap dancing and slipped.

How did the Irishman fall out of the window...?
He was ironing the curtains.

There are clearly many more but hey I didn't have time to do more...

*listens to the sigh or relief*

Ash · Post by **Ash** » Tue Nov 11, 2003 2:05 am

Stupidest joke EVER!:
Why did the chicken cross the road, to get to the other side.

Of course.

Zantar Black · Post by **Zantar Black** » Tue Nov 11, 2003 2:47 am

Three penguins were in a shower. One says to another, "Pass the soap," and the he replies, "What am I? Your typewriter?!"

My old study hall moniter taught me that one

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