Santa, dead?

NotQuiteDead · Post by **NotQuiteDead** » Sun Nov 16, 2003 4:32 pm

I know this is a tad old-school, but the Bob Rivers Christmas collection is funny as hell! Some of the songs are just waaay out there, here's a few of the really good ones:

Chipmunks Roasting (On An Open Fire)
Grahbe Ya'Balz
Something Stuck in the Chimney (my favorite)

I know they've done some of the classic Christmas spoof songs, they can be found on the 'Twisted Christmas' CD sets.

elroy · Post by **elroy** » Sun Nov 16, 2003 4:49 pm

Twelve pains of christmas is a pretty funny song too.

Jade · Post by **Jade** » Sun Nov 16, 2003 4:50 pm

[quote="Rorschach";p="215794"]Eihger, you're failing to take into account one very important factor in your scientific debunking of the Santa 'myth'
He is magical
The laws of time and physics do not apply to him for this very reason
I hope you get coal in your stocking this year...[/quote]

I was thinking the exact same thing at the end. At anyrate it was still hilarious! I'm wondering if my math TA would like it so much she would give me extra credit... haha.. yea right

wickedlittletown · Post by **wickedlittletown** » Sun Nov 16, 2003 5:43 pm

wait.....Santa's not real? Oh great thanks a lot. Christmas is RUINED! That does explain why i havent gotten many presents since I moved out...

"OH NO...NOT THE JINGLY BELLS"

awa64 · Post by **awa64** » Sun Nov 16, 2003 7:18 pm

[quote="Dragonmaster Zoc";p="215830"]I was just conversing about said song earlier. The "extra gory" version, as it is called, it certainly available somewhere. I think I recall it being on one of the lesser albums, shortly after Bad Hair Day came out.[/quote]

Extra Gory Version is on a single.

This is the alternate lyric:

Yes, Virginia, now Santa Claus is dead
Some guy from the S.W.A.T. team
blew a hole through his head
Yes, little friend now
He has his brains on the floor
Guess you won't have the fat guy
to kick around anymore
Well now there's no more presents
for the children's enjoyment
And the elves gotta stand in line
to file for unemployment
And they say Mrs. Claus
she's on the phone every night
With her lawyer negotiating the movie rights

Mew Guy · Post by **Mew Guy** » Sun Nov 16, 2003 7:44 pm

http://unclestupid.com/article619.html

Wed December 11, 2002 10:17 AM ET
LONDON (Reuters) - A British vicar reduced young children to tears and stunned their parents when he said Santa Claus and his reindeer would burn to a crisp while delivering presents at supersonic speed. Stand-in vicar Lee Rayfield shattered the illusions of dozens of kids when he joked in his carol service sermon that Santa and his reindeer would burn up doing 3,000 times the speed of sound as they delivered gifts to 91.8 million homes.

"I am mortified and appreciate that I have put some parents in a difficult position with a lot of explaining to do," Rayfield told Wednesday's Daily Telegraph. "I love Christmas."

Newspapers said many children at the school service at St Mary's Church in Maidenhead, west of London, were distraught when Rayfield pointed out that it was logically impossible for one man and his sleigh to deliver 378 million presents in just 31 hours.

"There were a lot of children there who still believe in Santa Claus, or did so until last night," Sue Smee, who attended the service with her five- and nine-year-old sons, told the Daily Mirror. "It has left us parents with a lot of explaining to do today," she added.

AcesWild · Post by **AcesWild** » Sun Nov 16, 2003 7:53 pm

I don't care what you all say!! I saw the movie Elf - I know all I have to do is believe for Santa's Sleigh to fly....

Stupid "science" and "logic"...

Ash · Post by **Ash** » Sun Nov 16, 2003 7:57 pm

That was great.

/me saves it

And now, a song:

newbie's roasting in a field of fire
PK's chopping up their foes
UO carols being sung by a choir
and peeps dressed up like pimps and ho's
every body knows

some black pearl and sulfurous ash
help to win the evening fight
looting peeps with their banks full of cash
will find it hard to sleep tonight

they know that 3D's on its way
its luring lots of wide-eyed newbies for to slay
and every UO child is gonna try
to see if UO gifts on eBay will fly

and so I'm offering this twisted phrase
to kids from UO - red, or blue
though you've died and been looted many times, many ways
Merry Christmas to you

- Newbies Roasting in a Field of Fire, or, UO Christmas Song by Midas.

Based upon, with the utmost respect for and apologies to:
"The Christmas Song" - Mel Torme

Saurenath · Post by **Saurenath** » Sun Nov 16, 2003 10:14 pm

The funny thing is, there is no such thing as centrifugal forces, so the centrifugal forces santa experiences is zero, since they dont exist.

Post by **Blaze** » Sun Nov 16, 2003 10:19 pm

They only FEEL like they exist.

Kits · Post by **Kits** » Sun Nov 16, 2003 10:32 pm

A bit old, but an alabama classic, anyone ever heard "Grandma got run over by a reindeer"? Hilarious.

Goddess of thy Coconut · Post by **Goddess of thy Coconut** » Sun Nov 16, 2003 10:33 pm

It was a Christmas special on Cartoon Network last year...I dunno...I think Santa got sued or something in it, or am I confusing that with something else?

Phong · Post by **Phong** » Sun Nov 16, 2003 10:35 pm

She's refering to an old song actually.

rawkeye · Post by **rawkeye** » Sun Nov 16, 2003 10:37 pm

that email is what happens when engineers have nothing better to do.

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, KEEP THEM OCCUPIED!

Grimwatch · Post by **Grimwatch** » Sun Nov 16, 2003 11:00 pm

One of the oddest Xmas songs I've heard (lately).
"Deck the halls with sprigs of wattle"

Silly Australians

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